Safety & boundaries

Last updated: July 10, 2026

Your safety matters more than finishing a conversation.

Pairmend can support ordinary relationship tension. It cannot safely mediate abuse, coercion, stalking, threats, violence, self-harm risk, or an emergency. You never owe the app—or a partner—another answer.

Need to switch screens?

This opens a neutral page in this tab. It cannot erase every browser, network, or device trace.

Leave this page

If there may be immediate danger

Leave Pairmend and contact your local emergency service or a trusted person if it is safe to do so. Pairmend does not monitor this page, dispatch help, or contact anyone on your behalf.

Abuse is not a ‘both sides’ communication problem

Conflict can involve two perspectives. Abuse and coercive control involve power, fear, and restricted choice. A balanced-sounding exercise can increase risk when one person may retaliate, monitor a device, punish honesty, or use disclosures against the other person. Pairmend should pause shared repair in those circumstances—not encourage compromise, confrontation, disclosure, or reconciliation.

You are the expert on what feels safe for you. An AI cannot confirm whether abuse is occurring, and a safety prompt is not a diagnosis or factual finding.

Do not use partner mode when

Saying no feels unsafe

You expect punishment, intimidation, humiliation, threats, forced contact, or financial, sexual, medical, or social consequences for disagreeing.

Your device may be monitored

Someone checks your messages, passwords, location, browsing, notifications, or account activity without free consent.

There are threats or violence

This includes stalking, confinement, weapons, choking or strangulation, sexual violence, property destruction, or threats of self-harm used to control you.

Contact is unwanted or forced

A block, boundary, separation, legal order, or request for no contact should be respected. Pairmend must not be used to get around it.

If any of these fit, do not invite the other person, start a shared repair, or use an AI message to confront them. Independent human support and a safety plan may be more appropriate. You can still open the external resources below without starting a session.

What a private safety intervention does

Normal repair pauses

Pairmend stops shared synthesis and offers a private clarification or support route.

The reason stays private

A partner never sees a risk label, your safety answer, or which person triggered the pause. If they already knew of the session, they see only that it is unavailable.

Safety help stays free

A safety diversion does not use a Repair Pass. In Mendi Live, server-measured connected seconds through the safety exit are deducted after a five-second grace. This page, external resources, and non-voice safety actions use no credits.

Pairmend does not automatically message a partner, trusted person, therapist, hotline, police, or emergency service. It cannot know whether an alert is a false positive. You choose whether to open a resource, leave, block, delete, or seek human help.

What Pairmend can help with

Pausing before a difficult but safe conversation
Untangling facts, feelings, needs, and assumptions
Rehearsing a boundary or calmer message privately
Long-distance timing and ordinary misunderstandings
Creating a shared next step when both people freely choose
Finding an independent support directory when normal repair should stop

AI and voice limits

Mendi is AI, not a person, therapist, crisis counselor, medical professional, or emergency operator. It may misunderstand context, miss danger, or raise a concern where none exists. It cannot verify facts, assess someone in person, guarantee confidentiality on a monitored device, or keep anyone physically safe.

Mendi Live begins only after the user starts it and grants microphone permission. The launch voice experience is solo, includes visible listening controls and captions, and should stop normal coaching if the safety route takes over. Pairmend does not store voice audio or transcripts; live audio is processed by the configured AI provider as explained in the Privacy Notice.

Independent support, wherever you are

These services are independent of Pairmend. Availability, languages, hours, confidentiality, and response times vary by country. Opening a directory does not guarantee immediate help, and Pairmend does not see whether you visit or contact a listed service.

NO MORE Global Directory

Search domestic and sexual violence services by country or region.

Find A Helpline

Find crisis and emotional-support services in many countries and languages.

myPlan

Explore an independent, evidence-informed safety-planning resource where applicable.

If you are under 18, Pairmend is not for you. Consider contacting a trusted adult, local child-protection service, or a youth helpline in your country if it is safe to do so.

Using Pairmend on a monitored or shared device

Use a safer device or account the other person cannot access if that is available and safe.
Lock-screen notifications, email previews, synced browser history, password managers, downloads, network logs, and shared cloud accounts may reveal activity.
The “Leave this page” control replaces the current page with a neutral site in this tab, but older history or device records may remain.
Clearing history, changing passwords, disabling location sharing, or deleting an app can itself be noticed. Make those changes only if they are safe for your situation.
Pairmend never tells a partner that you used a quick exit, opened support resources, or entered a private safety route.

If you are worried about someone else

Listen without demanding details, respect their choices, and avoid sending a partner-facing message or confronting someone on their behalf unless they ask and it is safe. You can offer a safer device, time, transport, or help finding a local specialist. If you believe there is immediate danger, contact an appropriate local emergency service when safe and lawful—but remember Pairmend cannot do that for you.