Your raw words belong to you.

Pairmend handles unusually personal relationship information. This notice explains what is private, what can become shared, what our providers process, and the controls available to you.

Who is responsible

Pairmend operates Pairmend and is responsible for the product data described here. Privacy questions, access requests, or deletion requests can be sent to support@pairmend.com.

The four privacy layers

Raw reflection — only you

Your answers and private note are readable only by your account. A partner receives status such as “submitted,” never the raw row.

Private AI guidance — only you

One-sided coaching, voice rehearsal, and safety routing stay personal unless you deliberately turn part of them into shared input.

Approved synthesis input

Only fields you consent to may inform a shared result. The private note is excluded from shared synthesis.

Shared result — both partners

Common ground, possible misreadings, personal message suggestions, and an editable next step can be shared after the applicable consent.

Information we process

Account data: email, display name, authentication records, age confirmation, and policy consent versions.
Preferences: language, time zone, accessibility, Mendi style, quiet hours, and notification choices.
Pair Space data: membership, invitation state, an opaque keyed binding for the intended invite email (not the raw invited email), manually chosen availability, signals, pulses, rituals, and agreements.
Repair data: private reflections, consent state, neutral session status, AI outputs, and user feedback.
Voice data: live audio while a voice session is active, ephemeral captions in the open tab, and content-free usage metadata. The current product does not store audio or transcripts.
Commercial data: purchased passes/minutes, an immutable credit ledger, provider transaction IDs, and receipt status.
Security and operations data: login events, limited request metadata, rate-limit events, and error diagnostics that should not contain reflection text.

Why we use it

We process data to create and secure your account, provide the features you request, enforce privacy boundaries, generate consented AI guidance, deliver transactional or opted-in reminders, process one-time purchases, prevent abuse, support deletion/export, and meet legal obligations. AI synthesis permission is chosen and may be withdrawn on each repair page; proactive-support permission is controlled in Settings. Withdrawing applies to future processing and also invalidates the affected current synthesis as described below.

AI processing

Before an AI request, Pairmend constructs a minimized payload: it excludes database IDs, timestamps, internal metadata, and the private note from shared synthesis. Content may be screened for safety before normal relationship guidance is generated. OpenAI currently states that API data is not used to train its models by default; standard abuse-monitoring retention and any approved reduced-retention configuration depend on Pairmend’s active provider contract. See OpenAI’s current API data controls.

Voice and microphone

Microphone access begins only after you tap to start and grant browser permission. Pairmend does not start audio automatically. Live audio is transmitted to the voice provider for the active session. Pairmend does not store the audio or transcript; captions remain only in the active browser tab. Provider processing and retention controls still apply as described above.

Providers and sharing

Pairmend does not sell your relationship content or use it for targeted advertising. We use service providers only for defined operations:

Supabase for authentication, database, and row-level access control.
OpenAI for consented text and live voice processing.
Stripe for one-time checkout, receipts, refunds, and payment fraud controls.
The configured hosting, email, and web-push providers needed to run the service.

We may also disclose limited information when lawfully required, to address an immediate security threat, or as part of a business transfer with appropriate notice and safeguards.

Retention

Data	Current retention rule
Temporary reflection draft	This browser tab only; removed after submission or when the tab session ends.
Raw reflection	Until you delete it, leave under an applicable deletion flow, or delete the account.
Shared report/agreement	Retained with the Pair Space under current account and Pair Space deletion controls. Leaving immediately ends the departing member’s access. Deleting a raw reflection also permanently removes any shared synthesis derived from it, without deleting the partner’s raw reflection or one-sided personal guidance.
Voice audio	Not stored by Pairmend; transient for the live session. Provider controls still apply.
Live voice captions	Not stored by Pairmend; available only in the active browser tab.
Payment ledger	As required for receipts, disputes, tax, fraud prevention, and financial recordkeeping. After account deletion, the auth identity is removed and the minimum order/evidence record is kept under a random financial reference.

Deletion from active systems and backups may occur on different schedules. The product will show the scope and effect before a destructive action; provider backup schedules and legal holds may temporarily delay final erasure.

Your choices and rights

View, correct, export, or delete your account data.
Delete your own raw reflection without deleting your partner’s raw words.
Choose private or pair audience when a repair starts and control synthesis consent before generation.
Leave or block a Pair Space, revoke invitations, and hide sensitive lock-screen content. Shared access ends immediately on leave, so export first if you want a copy.
Disable Mendi prompts, animations, voice, and notification categories.
Object to or restrict processing and complain to a data-protection authority where local law provides those rights.

Security and international processing

Pairmend uses authenticated server boundaries, encrypted transport, database row-level security, least-privilege service access, signed payment webhooks, and security logging designed to exclude reflection text. No online service can promise absolute security. Providers may process data in other countries under their contractual transfer safeguards.

Adults only and changes

Pairmend is intended for adults aged 18 or older. We will update this notice when product data flows materially change and will request fresh consent where required. The date above identifies the current version.